Change Part II

SO. MUCH. CHANGE. You may be asking- "Heather, why are you doing this to us???" Although you don't yet know what I'm doing to you, here it is...

This blog is moving. Again. I have made my final decision to move all my blogging to The Things That Make Us Tick, formerly a blog that my teammate KC and I blogged at for Navigators related things, but now a blog dedicated not only to Navs stuff, but also my ramblings that normally happen here, as well as a bunch of new guest blogging! I'm super excited to get started with the new direction of this blog! I have transferred over a bunch of my old posts from this blog to the new one... so you'll find old stuff and new stuff!

So, you can take this puppy off your favs, and just follow The Things That Make Us Tick. It will be much easier for all of us. Let's be real... I never knew which one to blog on and you probably never knew which one to read. Three cheers for simplicity!

Better, not bitter

Today I was talking with a dear old [and in some ways new] friend, and we got to talking about the past. About the way things had been, things that were said, things that were done [or not done]. We talked about how we view ourselves and how others view us and why things happened the way the did. We mourned our losses and chalked so much up to "it is what it is." And in the end, this is what we concluded: we cannot become bitter. 

Even when we are tempted to hold onto our hurts and our failures. Even when it feels good to hold a grudge or get revenge. Even when we feel justified in our pain. We have to choose to walk away with the lessons, the learning, the growth, and leave the bitterness and "justified" hurt behind. God has so much bigger things for us when we are free to fully love and invest, and that can't come out of bitterness. It has to come out of a place of acceptance, forgiveness, and security in Christ. 

Change

So you may have noticed that I moved my wordpress blog, The Unfolding, to blogspot! That's right... although I loved the sleek look of wordpress, it just wasn't as convenient to update... so now everything  is all in one place.

Including posts from back in 2009... when I was a Sophomore in college.

So some of the stuff is pretty dumb. And embarrassing. And I was going to start fresh, delete my past posts, and move forward. But you know what? I've decided not to. Because it's that old stuff, that stuff from my past, that has played a part in getting me to where I'm at now. Because that's how this life works... we change, we grow, we adapt and evolve, and thank God we don't stay the same! So here's to embracing the past, saying "thank you" to the experiences (good AND bad) that have shaped us, and  letting others see our journey. Here's to change!

Wisdom From Others: Thoughts on Marriage

A few months ago I spent some time over at resolved2worship. I was immensely encouraged and challenged by this blog... reading about Alyssa and her husband's real-life love story here. [Warning- it's LONG- as in 12-parts-plus-some long, but oh so wonderful!]

The story speaks of trust, fear of man, parenting, faith, communication, believing lies, hearing from God, keeping Christ at the center, God's love, and ultimately His redemption and sovereignty. It includes lots and lots of pain, but also so much beauty in the restoration that Jesus brings to their family [they have 8 adorable kiddos, by the way].

So after reading the story in its entirety, I wanted to share some of the wisdom about marriage, relationships, and life that I took away from it [all that follows is written by Alyssa from resolved2worship.]

_________

The number one purpose of marriage is to conform us into the image of Christ.

What is the image of Christ? I think it can best be summed up in three words: unconditional love, mercy, and grace.

So the questions are. . .

- "How would you ever learn unconditional love if you married someone who met all of your "conditions?"

- "How would you ever learn mercy if you were married to someone who never sinned against you?"

- "How would you ever learn grace if you were married to someone who was always deserving of all good things?"

Because God's greatest desire for a couple, and in marriage, is not compatibility or like-mindedness or perfect one-ness. His greatest desire is that we be conformed to the image of Christ. We are conformed to His image not by living with a perfectly compatible, unfailing, deserving mate. We are conformed to His image by being married to an incompatible, failing, undeserving mate.

_________

It is really okay if your heart gets involved and then God sends red flags and tells you to turn around, or cut it off. It might be very hard, and it might be painful. God tells us there could be heart break in relationships. So trying to avoid heart break in a [relationship] can be trying to play God.

God's Word says trials build us. If you go through a difficult, heart breaking relationship, that is God's love for you. Let it take you to the cross, grow you up and prepare you for the relationship that does end in marriage.

_________

You want a guy who pulls you closer to Jesus, not a guy who just pulls out the flesh in you. Ask yourself when you're with a guy, "Do I grow in my walk with God when I'm with him, or is it all just fleshly attraction? Does this guy pull Christ out of me, or pull out my flesh?

_________

The best preparation for marriage? The best "system?"

Real and deep communion with Jesus Christ that penetrates past all externals - a relationship with Him that is greater than any fluffy methods promising less broken hearts and more physical "purity." If you are in real communion with Jesus Christ, it's a relationship that cuts deep to the heart, where true purity either is, or isn't.

It's the Little Things

I've been moved into my current home for a week and a half now... and I'm loving it! My room feels so homey, and I've been realizing that it's the culmination of so many "little things." You know, the little touches that you might not notice at first glance, but when there are many of them together all in one room it just seems to fit. So I thought I'd share with you all some of my favorite little things in my room. Enjoy! :)

REcover//REstyle

This weekend I got to feeling a little crafty. A little fabric and Mod Podge always solves that, right? :) So I went down to the craft shelves in the basement and scrounged up some scrap fabric and Mod Podge, grabbed my Bible and an old office chair, and got to work! [Sorry for the poor photo quality of my phone as well as the lack of before/process pics!]

To cover my Bible, I simply painted a medium layer of Mod Podge onto the cover and placed the fabric over that, wrapping the fabric around the edges and cutting out spaces for the binding and elastic band to still fit around the book. Easy peasy!

To cover the chair, I unscrewed the back and just placed the fabric around the old stuff, taped it in the back (shhhh, don't tell anyone!) and then screwed the back back on. For the seat portion, there was a way on the bottom of the chair to loosen the cushion, so I simply loosened it and tucked the fabric underneath then tightened it. I LOVE a sewing-free project! :)

Both pieces got NEW life from these simple improvements. Plus, my Bible's spine was falling apart and this solved that problem, while enhancing the beauty of it as well! Hope you are inspired to go recover and restyle something of your own! Happy crafting!

Thoughts on Theology

So this summer I've been doing a lot of writing over at The Things That Make Us Tick. And it's been pretty great. But sometimes I just need a place to share more personal stuff, stuff that doesn't necessarily have to do with EDGE Corps or the Navigators or support raising, or any of that.

Lately God has been working on my theology. Which is a tricky thing to do with a girl who has a past aversion to theology, doctrine, and the like, mainly due to the fact that these things are so often linked with debate and arguments... and ultimately competition (another one of those things that this girl has an aversion to).

But theology doesn't have to be linked with those things, because really, all it is is the study of the nature of God.

And I guess as far as recording here for you all how God has been changing my theology, I don't really have the words. I just know that it's been good and difficult all at the same time. And that as He's doing it I'm getting closer to knowing who He truly is, getting closer to the truth.

So I'm going to leave you all with this to listen to if you'd like... some teachings about decision-making and the will of God that I have really been digging. Careful, they might mess with your theology. ;)

Life After College

Wondering what life after college holds for me? Check out my current blog here to see where I'll be and what I'll be doing! Here's my blogging partner in crime, Casey, and I... we are going to be teammates in this next adventure! So excited!

I'll still make it around to blogging on here every once in a while, but for fresh-out-of-the-oven content you're gonna wanna head on over to The Things That Make Us Tick and click "Join This Site" to stay updated!

Cheers!

DIY: Scripture Memorization

I have recently been motivated to memorize scripture. I've found that it's not actually as hard as I've always made it out to be. :) In fact, it's really quite fun and has been super helpful in my daily walk.

Here's the benefits I have found in memorizing scripture:

1. 
   
   When I'm talking with people and a verse comes to mind I actually know where to find it and can give more than just a vague description of it if I happen to not have my Bible.


2. 
   
   When I'm anxious, fearful, tempted, etc. I can call these verses to mind to combat the enemy.


3. 
   
   It gives me something to do during those awkward down-times of 3-15 minutes.


4. 
   
   It has given me a greater thirst for the Word and has motivated me to dig into it more.


5. 
   
   I got to do a craft! Who doesn't love crafts??? :)

So, I thought I'd show you how I have chosen to memorize scripture... and the craft that went along with it!

You will need:

• 
  
  Spiral-bound index card book (I chose this so all my cards will stay together and I can just throw the book in my backpack)


• 
  
  Storage Box (Any index-card sized box would work. I used an old gift box that just happened to be the perfect size!)


• 
  
  Mod podge or other glue


• 
  
  Scrapbook paper


• 
  
  Misc. Craft supplies

Get creative!

Decorate the cover of the book and the box by mod podging paper on, adding scripture or quotes, or even try adding some 3-D elements!

 

All done! You now have a box that will be able to hold multiple little scripture books... now get memorizing! :) 

 I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

Psalm 119:11

The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.

Psalm 119:130

His delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.

Psalm 1:2

I  delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.

Psalm 40:8 

Far Better Things Ahead

Twenty-two.

It's such an even number. Nice, even. Hmm.... I think I can stand it for 364 1/2 more days. :)



I started my current journal exactly one year ago today. And as I look through it I remember. The learning, the growing, the laughing, the crying. I remember when I thought the pain would never end, I remember when I wanted to jump over the moon for joy. I remember thinking life shouldn't be this hard, I remember thinking how could life possibly be this beautiful? I remember loving so much it hurt, crying so hard I could scarcely breathe, smiling so big and long that I thought my cheeks would give out. I remember laughing til I cried, being speechless but never having enough words, going numb then feeling so big when the walls came down. I remember God bringing me to my knees in awe of Him, stopping me in my tracks with truth, and being relentless in His love for me. I remember seeing my story clearly for the first time, seeing my sin and my shame, and then seeing my beautiful savior who washes it all away. I remember passions being stirred in my soul that are still being stirred. And as I look back on this last year of my life, I remember all that God has given me, taken me through, and blessed me with. And I look forward to all that He has for me in this next year of life. And in another 364 1/2 days I will get to look back with thankfulness in my heart.

Lord, this year let me...

Of Godly womanhood.
Of the guitar.
Of culinary arts.
Of freelance design.



of the Word frequently.
of spiritually edifying books.
of novels and fiction.
of books of interest like No Stones and Boundaries.
of blogs that inspire and encourage.



of my living space.
of designs to help others.
of the book(s) I've been dreaming of.
of my own notebooks.
of art outside my safety zone.
of honest, thoughtful blog posts.



to the cities to visit the sisters.
to friday chapel at north central.
to colorado (EDGE summit and family vaca).
to a different state on a road trip.
to my hometown.
to IHOP.
roller skating.
running.



who takes trips to quiet places to journal, reflect and pray.
who remains intentional with time.
who is willing to say no, but unafraid to say yes when called to.
who loves and feels deeply.



by committing to seeing dear ones regularly.
by staying active in my church.
by listening over speaking.
by praying for my friends weekly.
by praying for my future husband.



through memorizing Scripture.
through regular, committed tithing to my church.
through specific, weekly times set aside for prayer.
through giving of time, talents and things as opportunities arise.

Live brave, not safe

So I'm not super into sports movies. Or Brad Pitt movies. But it just so happened that the other day I found myself watching a movie about baseball with Pitt as the main actor- Moneyball. And although it isn't my new favorite movie, there were some definite morals to be taken away from it. The line that really struck me was spoken to Pitt's character in relation to the idea of being the first one to try something new.

"The first one through the wall always gets bloody."

The guy who said this was making a connection between Pitt's character drafting baseball teams using math and numbers, which was a new idea for the time, and a fight. The first guy through the wall is going to get bloody, but he is also paving the way for people to come after him. Someone has to go first. That's just the way it is.

Someone has to go first for everything. And often God is calling us to be that person. To be the first to heal, the first to obey. We might be called to go first in our families or our circles of friends in living out who God created us to be. Going first is hard. It hurts. It's painful and lonely and sometimes feels hopeless. But going first is important. It paves the way for people to follow suit. It allows others to step out and do what they wouldn't have done, be who they wouldn't have been, if not for your going first.

Better

"When a man is getting better he understands more and more clearly the evil that is still left in him. When a man is getting worse he understands his own badness less and less."

C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)

 

Welp. I guess it's a good sign then that I am continually faced with my shortcomings, my failures, my fleshly desires. Jesus, make me better.

I Will Choose.

Today I was journaling and thought of how often I choose NOT to live in the power of the Holy Spirit. So often I choose weakness, fear, hate, and sin over Jesus. But I have the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead inside of me. I have that same power. I don't have to live in slavery to my flesh and the things of this world. I can live in the power of the Holy Spirit, or in the weakness and darkness of my flesh. I have a choice. 

Jesus, today I choose to live in the power of your Holy Spirit. 

I will choose...

love over contempt

peace over fear

forgiveness over judgement

truth over lies

surrender over control

purpose over apathy

faith over doubt

selflessness over selfishness

dialogue over monologue

God-pleasing over people-pleasing

trust over mistrust

praise over complaints

self-love over self-pity

your will over my will

belief over unbelief

changed heart over behavior modification

wisdom over foolishness

contentment over jealousy

victory over defeat

honesty over denial

boldness over trembling

doing over hearing

obedience over disobedience

clarity over confusion

patience over impatience

joy over despair

self-control over self-indulgence

righteousness over unrighteousness

freedom over slavery

relationship over religion

real over fake

purity over impurity

repentance over stubbornness

vulnerability over self-protection

gentleness over harshness

thanksgiving over discontentment

encouragement over gossip

people over things

feeling over numbness

your opinion over others' opinions

passion over laziness

depth over surface

acceptance over cynicism

humility over pride

discernment over uncertainty

strength over powerlessness

grace over legalism

dependence on you over dependence on others or myself

serving over competition

holiness over ungodliness

serenity over stress

growth over staleness

redemption over condemnation

life over death

you, Jesus, over the world.

Some are obstetricians, others are pediatricians.

"Some are obstetricians, others are pediatricians." My mom and I were skyping the other night, and after a lengthy conversation, this was my mother's summary.

Some doctors help bring babies into the world, others, like pediatricians, care for them when they are children. There are doctors for adults, and even special doctors for elderly people. Doctors have specialties. They have a field with people that they feel comfortable with. That they are passionate about. That they love taking care of, healing, and interacting with.

This week I have been realizing that this is how it is in God's house. There are those of us who are gifted with and have passion for evangelism, others who love helping new "baby" believers. Others of us are passionate about seeing "older" believers grow and deepen in their relationship with Christ.

It was he [Christ] who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up  until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. - Ephesians 4:11-13

It's pretty sweet that God gives us each unique gifts, passions, talents, and desires to create unity and reach the world. All of these things that Christ can call us to are "to prepare God's people for works of service" and for unity in the body. But not all of us are called to be prophets. Not all of us are called to be teachers. But we are all called to obedience, and in that obedience we get to live out who God created us to be.

So, what kind of doctor are you called to be?

"You have a traitor, there"

"'You have a traitor there, Aslan,' said the Witch. Of course everyone present knew that she meant Edmund. But Edmund had got past thinking about himself after all he’d been through and after the talk he’d had that morning. He just went on looking at Aslan. It didn’t seem to matter what the Witch said."

-C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

I just finished this book... and out of the whole thing this is the part that stood out to me the most. It is right after Edmund is rescued from the White Witch and is back with Aslan and his siblings. The White Witch has requested an audience with Aslan to remind him of the Deep Magic, in which every traitor belongs to her and is her prey to kill.

Her words- "You have a traitor there, Aslan" are meant to cut, meant to shame. They are meant to make Edmund squirm and for Aslan and the rest of the good creatures to scorn Edmund. But that doesn't happen. Instead, Edmund just keeps his eyes focused on Aslan, so overtaken by the rescue and his conversation with Aslan afterwards. The Witch tried to shame him, tried to feed him lies about who he was, tried to bring up his past, but it didn't seem to matter. All that mattered to Edmund now was Aslan.

Sound like a familiar scenario? It does to me. I am Edmund! I am that traitor. For all the times that I have seen the movie or heard the story, I have always been the one to scorn Edmund, to shame him. How I hated him! How could he possibly betray Aslan, his siblings, and all things good all for a tin of Turkish Delight and empty promises of power? But I think the reason I hated him so was because I saw some of my own self in him. I saw that I am just as prone to betray, to turn my back on the wonderfulness that is Jesus and all that he has to offer, all for a cheap imitation, a pile of rubbish in comparison. But like Aslan, Jesus gave his life for me so that I could live, so that I could change, and so that I could become a true daughter of the king. And when I see that, it doesn't seem to matter what the Devil says.

Right Now

I know that Jesus loves me, chooses me, and takes delight in me, but I don't know that it is enough to cover me if others don't.

Jesus, sink your love in deep to me, so deep that all my people-pleasing is gone and all that remains is the knowledge of your love.

Only Love Remains

Only Love Remains- JJ Heller

 

Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground

 

I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart

 

Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

 

You burn away the ropes that bind

And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth

I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I’m a shadow
But I’m dancing in your light

 

Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

 

This is my prayer today Jesus... be gentle as you tear me apart, kill the sin in me, burn it away, until only love remains.  

He's not safe, but He's good

Jesus is SO GOOD! He has been teaching me so much these last couple weeks, revealing Himself in big and little ways, constantly beside me, reminding me that He's got this. Reminding me of His goodness, His power, and most of all, His unimaginable love for me. I love that I get to live in this! That I get to experience His constant reminders. There's a quote about Aslan, the lion from "The Chronicles of Narnia" that I love... "He's not safe, but He's good." How true this is of my God. Over and over again He is good. He's not safe, He's not about getting my way or being comfortable. But HE IS GOOD.

This semester has been so weird. I'm just seven months from graduating, I think something like 20 weeks of school left in my undergrad career. And it's in these circumstances that I find Jesus changing me, repositioning me, and being Himself... being good. Right as anxiety begins to set in, He snatches it away and replaces it with wisdom and peace. Right as pride starts to creep up, He humbles me and shows me my smallness, my brokenness. And right as despair tries to take hold in my soul, He comes riding in, saving me from my flesh and once again declaring His goodness over me. As I look ahead into this next chapter in my life, all I can say is, He is good.

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”
― C.S. Lewis

MIA

Sorry I've been absent in the world of Wordpress lately! You see, I may have found a new love, called .... Tumblr. I know, I know... how many stinking blogs do I have, right?! But I just keep finding ones I like. Now don't get me wrong, Wordpress has been so good to me. I love the fun templates, the ease in which I can add new posts and track my site traffic. And I certainly love the official "website" feel that it gives my blog. BUT, have you ever checked out Tumblr? It's just so cool. The only thing easier about posting on Tumblr is breathing. Or sleeping. Oh gosh, is the Wordpress police gonna come arrest me? I feel like such a traitor!

But that's not the point of this post! Because I do want to apologize for being gone, and let you all know how cool Tumblr is, but at the same time, I obviously haven't shut down shop here either. Because here is where I can share more big life stuff. Here is where I get to rant and rave and have uber long posts that probably noone reads all the way through. Because the truth of the matter is that no matter how cool Tumblr is, it's just not really the place for those uber long posts. At least not for me. It's more of a "slap up a photo, throw up a quote, scrawl a quick thought or two" kinda blog.

So, now that I've got you curious, why don't you go check it out? :)

5 Things Friday- Things that are Taking Up My Time

Things that are Taking Up My Time

1. My online psych class- currently working on going through a 108 slide powerpoint to take a 10 point quiz... really?!?

2. Meeting with lots of lovely ladies- young and old!

3. My tumblr. (Well, not really, I just wanted you to click!)

4. Design. duh. It's my major.

5. Preparing for a new season of Wounded Heart