Live brave, not safe

So I'm not super into sports movies. Or Brad Pitt movies. But it just so happened that the other day I found myself watching a movie about baseball with Pitt as the main actor- Moneyball. And although it isn't my new favorite movie, there were some definite morals to be taken away from it. The line that really struck me was spoken to Pitt's character in relation to the idea of being the first one to try something new.

"The first one through the wall always gets bloody."

The guy who said this was making a connection between Pitt's character drafting baseball teams using math and numbers, which was a new idea for the time, and a fight. The first guy through the wall is going to get bloody, but he is also paving the way for people to come after him. Someone has to go first. That's just the way it is.

Someone has to go first for everything. And often God is calling us to be that person. To be the first to heal, the first to obey. We might be called to go first in our families or our circles of friends in living out who God created us to be. Going first is hard. It hurts. It's painful and lonely and sometimes feels hopeless. But going first is important. It paves the way for people to follow suit. It allows others to step out and do what they wouldn't have done, be who they wouldn't have been, if not for your going first.

Better

"When a man is getting better he understands more and more clearly the evil that is still left in him. When a man is getting worse he understands his own badness less and less."

C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)

 

Welp. I guess it's a good sign then that I am continually faced with my shortcomings, my failures, my fleshly desires. Jesus, make me better.

I Will Choose.

Today I was journaling and thought of how often I choose NOT to live in the power of the Holy Spirit. So often I choose weakness, fear, hate, and sin over Jesus. But I have the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead inside of me. I have that same power. I don't have to live in slavery to my flesh and the things of this world. I can live in the power of the Holy Spirit, or in the weakness and darkness of my flesh. I have a choice. 

Jesus, today I choose to live in the power of your Holy Spirit. 

I will choose...

love over contempt

peace over fear

forgiveness over judgement

truth over lies

surrender over control

purpose over apathy

faith over doubt

selflessness over selfishness

dialogue over monologue

God-pleasing over people-pleasing

trust over mistrust

praise over complaints

self-love over self-pity

your will over my will

belief over unbelief

changed heart over behavior modification

wisdom over foolishness

contentment over jealousy

victory over defeat

honesty over denial

boldness over trembling

doing over hearing

obedience over disobedience

clarity over confusion

patience over impatience

joy over despair

self-control over self-indulgence

righteousness over unrighteousness

freedom over slavery

relationship over religion

real over fake

purity over impurity

repentance over stubbornness

vulnerability over self-protection

gentleness over harshness

thanksgiving over discontentment

encouragement over gossip

people over things

feeling over numbness

your opinion over others' opinions

passion over laziness

depth over surface

acceptance over cynicism

humility over pride

discernment over uncertainty

strength over powerlessness

grace over legalism

dependence on you over dependence on others or myself

serving over competition

holiness over ungodliness

serenity over stress

growth over staleness

redemption over condemnation

life over death

you, Jesus, over the world.

Some are obstetricians, others are pediatricians.

"Some are obstetricians, others are pediatricians." My mom and I were skyping the other night, and after a lengthy conversation, this was my mother's summary.

Some doctors help bring babies into the world, others, like pediatricians, care for them when they are children. There are doctors for adults, and even special doctors for elderly people. Doctors have specialties. They have a field with people that they feel comfortable with. That they are passionate about. That they love taking care of, healing, and interacting with.

This week I have been realizing that this is how it is in God's house. There are those of us who are gifted with and have passion for evangelism, others who love helping new "baby" believers. Others of us are passionate about seeing "older" believers grow and deepen in their relationship with Christ.

It was he [Christ] who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up  until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. - Ephesians 4:11-13

It's pretty sweet that God gives us each unique gifts, passions, talents, and desires to create unity and reach the world. All of these things that Christ can call us to are "to prepare God's people for works of service" and for unity in the body. But not all of us are called to be prophets. Not all of us are called to be teachers. But we are all called to obedience, and in that obedience we get to live out who God created us to be.

So, what kind of doctor are you called to be?

"You have a traitor, there"

"'You have a traitor there, Aslan,' said the Witch. Of course everyone present knew that she meant Edmund. But Edmund had got past thinking about himself after all he’d been through and after the talk he’d had that morning. He just went on looking at Aslan. It didn’t seem to matter what the Witch said."

-C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

I just finished this book... and out of the whole thing this is the part that stood out to me the most. It is right after Edmund is rescued from the White Witch and is back with Aslan and his siblings. The White Witch has requested an audience with Aslan to remind him of the Deep Magic, in which every traitor belongs to her and is her prey to kill.

Her words- "You have a traitor there, Aslan" are meant to cut, meant to shame. They are meant to make Edmund squirm and for Aslan and the rest of the good creatures to scorn Edmund. But that doesn't happen. Instead, Edmund just keeps his eyes focused on Aslan, so overtaken by the rescue and his conversation with Aslan afterwards. The Witch tried to shame him, tried to feed him lies about who he was, tried to bring up his past, but it didn't seem to matter. All that mattered to Edmund now was Aslan.

Sound like a familiar scenario? It does to me. I am Edmund! I am that traitor. For all the times that I have seen the movie or heard the story, I have always been the one to scorn Edmund, to shame him. How I hated him! How could he possibly betray Aslan, his siblings, and all things good all for a tin of Turkish Delight and empty promises of power? But I think the reason I hated him so was because I saw some of my own self in him. I saw that I am just as prone to betray, to turn my back on the wonderfulness that is Jesus and all that he has to offer, all for a cheap imitation, a pile of rubbish in comparison. But like Aslan, Jesus gave his life for me so that I could live, so that I could change, and so that I could become a true daughter of the king. And when I see that, it doesn't seem to matter what the Devil says.

Right Now

I know that Jesus loves me, chooses me, and takes delight in me, but I don't know that it is enough to cover me if others don't.

Jesus, sink your love in deep to me, so deep that all my people-pleasing is gone and all that remains is the knowledge of your love.

Only Love Remains

Only Love Remains- JJ Heller

 

Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground

 

I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart

 

Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

 

You burn away the ropes that bind

And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth

I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I’m a shadow
But I’m dancing in your light

 

Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

 

This is my prayer today Jesus... be gentle as you tear me apart, kill the sin in me, burn it away, until only love remains.